What is Casual Dating?

What is Casual Dating? I have talked about in earlier entries about my anxiety with this guy I have been dating for the past few months. I talked about the struggle of having “the talk” with him. What do I mean by “the talk”? no, I don’t mean the birds and the bees talk. If he doesn’t know that in his 30s then we have bigger issues than we thought. Anyway, what I mean by “the talk” is having the “what are we?” talk. With someone who struggles with anxiety and depression, you can imagine what my mind was like during this whole relationship. Doubts, what ifs, and negative thought filled my head. As I have mentioned before he is a quiet guy. He doesn’t talk much and doesn’t really show emotion so it’s hard to tell what he is feeling because he won’t say anything nor show how he feels. That’s when I thought it would be beneficial for me to have “the talk” with him. To see where he’s at and if I’m wasting my time or not. Sure, I come across as a woman who has all the confidence in the world that can do anything, right? Wrong! Ok, maybe I was being a LITTLE sarcastic there since I have very little confidence in myself. But that’s another topic for another day. It took me a couple of months to find the courage to have the talk. I guess, I was just waiting for the right time. Well apparently, that time was our last date.

We decided to go out to dinner to a new place that we have never been to downtown. Sidebar: I don’t really like to go down town. Especially at night. It makes me nervous and I don’t feel safe. Anyway, we went to dinner. I parked three blocks away from the restaurant and he parked on the opposite side of the restuarant. I did tell him where I parked. I started walking towards the restaurant expecting to meet him there. Well, he was already walking towards me when I turned the corner from the parking garage. I thought that was sweet that he came and got me when I was walking alone.

We got to the restaurant, got our food and sat down. I asked how his day was, you know, expecting to carry the conversation like I usually do. This time, it was different. How? You ask. Well, I will tell you. He started to open up. WOAH! He’s expressing emotions! I was surprised, and I let him talk. I didn’t want to ruin it. It was like approaching a scared animal. You have to approach it in a sweet and comforting way. As I listened to him talk, by the way I love his deep voice. Anyway, as I listened to him talk about his week and opened up more about what’s going on in his life. After he was done talking; a shame since I love to hear him talk. But when that part of the topic was finished, I thought ‘OH. MY. GOODNESS! He’s talking. A lot. More than me! This is my chance’. That’s when I opened up a little because he then told me “well that’s what’s going on in my life right now. What’s going on in yours?” I was so shocked but a little excited. As I talked about my week I eased into “the talk”. I opened up a LITTLE about my anxiety about the topic. He seemed kind of apprehensive at first. But he listened, and we talked about the “what are we?” and came to an agreement that we are not looking for anything serious and that we are just casually dating. Someone to hang out with and go on dates with. Ok, in all honesty. HE wasn’t looking for anything serious. In other words. As I see it he’s saying ‘I’m too scared for anything serious’. As I see it, we can casual date and I will SHOW him that I am good for him in a more long-term serious relationship. No, I’m not going to waste much energy or time on him. We are still going to do what we always do. Go out once a week or so and just be myself. See, little effort. I calmed one anxiety down. So, there’s that…YAY!

Apparently, when you are dating seriously that’s a serious relationship where they see a future and casually dating is not serious and they are just taking it day by day. THAT my friends is casual dating.

He’s a good guy, though. I just think he’s afraid for something good. Pssssst. I’m the something good.