Christmas time is upon us. Only a couple weeks left. And everyone is all in good cheer, right? WRONG. It’s ok to not be ok. Sometimes we need space. We need time to be in our heads to work through what ever is troubling us. There are times where we want to be alone. We tell our friends and family that we are fine, and you just want to be left alone. But the truth is. That is not the case. You are NOT fine. You tell them that because you don’t want them to worry. There are times where someone is trying to pull out of you what is wrong, but you don’t want to talk about it. No matter how many times you tell them you are fine and to give you space they won’t let up. They will still bug you about why you are so withdrawn. Which can lead to you snapping at them which makes them worried even more. So, because of guilt for snapping you tend to withdraw even more instead of talking about what is going on in your head. The reasoning for not talking about it is because you aren’t sure what is going on in your head. All you know is you feel confused, angry and sad. You know, depressed. You feel you don’t have anyone to talk to because you don’t feel comfortable talking to anyone. Well, you mainly talk to your cat. Or is that just me?
It’s true I haven’t posted an entry in a few months. I’ve been going through some pretty tough times. You know life happens. It’s how you handle it that will make a difference. For an example, I’ve been keeping trying to keep my head up and my mind busy with work and school so I wouldn’t be fall into a dark whole. Little to find out I did anyway. I worked so hard to NOT go to that dark place and went there deeper. When life gets you down and tough things happen it’s exhausting to get yourself out of that dark hole and think positively on a daily basis. During the day while you’re at work you’re this bubbly talkative person that acts like everything is fine and then when you get home you are exhausted with no energy to do anything but sleep. Sometimes you may even break down. But the important thing is how you get up when you have fallen.
The hardest thing is to get up when you don’t feel like you can. Friends, they can help you get out of that hole. When someone is in this hole, they don’t feel like going out. they don’t want to be around people but sometimes that can lift your spirits. For instance, When I’m in this dark hole and don’t feel like hanging with friends I go out anyway if I’m invited to a game night or something. They really do lift your spirits and having the support of your friends even if they don’t know what is going on; really helps. We may have to force ourselves to be social when we don’t want to be but it’s good for us. Plus, it may be good for our friends to be social too. We don’t know what they are going through either. Friends help in so many ways.
What I’m trying to say is, when you are in a dark place and a dark hole sometimes you have to do the hardest things to get yourself out of that. It won’t be instant, but it will help you towards getting out of that place. Everyone is different. What helps you? Friends? Family? Animals? Art? What about writing? Use what works best for you to get yourself out of your hole. Just have to take the first step and that’s that hardest part. You can do it. I know you can. YOU BE YOU!
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